Please feel free to email me any more relevant jokes, song lyrics etc.
You can’t help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn’t spell it right; but spelling isn’t everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn’t count.
Poem by Roger McGough
twould be nice to be an apostrophe floating above an s hovering like a paper kite in between the its eavesdropping, tiptoeing high above the thats an inky comet spiralling the highest tossed of hats
Let school-masters puzzle their brain,
With grammar, and nonsense, and learning;
Good liquor, I stoutly maintain,
Gives genius a better discerning.
Oliver Goldsmith (1730?–1774) Irish playwright, novelist, poet
She Stoops to Conquer (1. 1–4)
Mispunctuation causes diplomatic crisis
The Jameson raid in South Africa in 1896 was mistakenly activated due to a badly mispunctuated telegram. British settlers who were denied civil rights in the Transvaal (a republic at the time) were believed to be on the verge of an uprising if Jameson invaded. The telegram was quoted in The Times as saying:
It is under these circumstances that we feel constrained to call upon you to come to our aid should a disturbance arise here the circumstances are so extreme that we cannot but believe that you and the men under you will not fail to come to the rescue of people who are so situated.
If you place a full stop after the word “aid”, the message asks for immediate assistance. If you put it after “here”, it means “we might need your help in the future."
An English teacher at Iowa State University spent a lot of time marking grammatical errors in her students' written work. She wasn't sure how much impact she was having until one overly busy day when she sat at her desk rubbing her temples.
A student asked, "What's the matter, Mrs. Smith?"
"Tense," she replied, describing her emotional state.
After a slight pause the student tried again, "What was the matter? What has been the matter? What might have been the matter?"
According to Snopes.com, for five years, Webster's New International Dictionary mistakenly included an entry for dord, a word which did not exist.
Song lyrics with grammatical errors
Elvis Costello, Oliver's Army: "Oliver's Army is here to stay, Oliver's Army are on their way"
Black Eyed Peas, Where is the Love: "Negative images is the main criteria"
Peter Gabriel, Games without Frontiers: “If looks could kill, they probably will”
Elvis Presley, Hound Dog: ”He ain’t nothing but a hound dog” and “He ain’t never caught a rabbit and he ain’t no friend of mine.”